Monday, February 15, 2010

Dear St. Louis (Episode 2):

So St. Louis....the last time I visited I was pretty bored with you. This time I definitely saw some more interesting things at your little Mardi Gras celebration than I did the last time I was there. My real concern is why the hell do people bring their kids to this thing? I mean like to compare for people who have never been there I'd say it's the Southside Irish Parade times 10....and by 10 times...I mean 10 times the people, 10 times the drunkenness, and about 100 times the inappropriate things going on. I personally would never want to drag a kid through crowds of 1000s and 1000s of people...but I can see how that's not an issue for some people, crowds don't bother some people like they bother me. But what I can't understand is why people would want to bring their kids to an event where the majority of people are there to get black out drunk. And while not everyone may articulate that plan....when people start drinking 32oz draft beers at 10am, I don't see how they could have any other intentions than to get that drunk. Who wants there kids around that? I know I don't want to be answering questions like, "Mommy, who is this creepy old man that keeps falling down and slurring his words that's trying to talk to me? "...or "why did that girl just pee on someone's front lawn?" And if you can manage to protect your kids from the drunk idiots that surround them, I don't see how you can keep them away from all theinappropriate things going on. I mean come on....when most people think Mardi Gras, they think boobs. Why would you bring you kids to a place where you know there is going to be slutty chics flashing people? I mean I was actually suprised at the little amount of boob flashing I saw, but regardless...if you are a parent you should have been worried about it. Especially because even though it was too cold for most people to be flashing, it's not like there wasn't still an overabundance of boobs. Every stand I went to had whole string of beads with giant boobs on them. And those weren't even the worse ones....there were plenty of naked chics ones, and ones with dirty sayings on them. I guess if your kid couldn't read you'd be a little better off.....but even though they couldn't read the necklace that said "F the tits, show me the bush"....the visual should be enough for anyone to realize this is no place for kids.
And then there were things like this.....for just $2 you could take a picture sitting on a giant mustache...with a sign that said " I got a mustache ride at Mardi Gras" you really want your kid asking you if they can take a "mustache ride" picture? Or even if they don't want to take the picture do you really want them asking you what a "mustache ride" is???? And then there was just things that were out right appalling and everyone should be grossed out by seeing them....not just worried about children being exposed to it. Like this business card I saw which is by far the most disgusting business card I could ever imagine anyone having......What the hell is wrong with the people who own this business? Now I'm sure they probably just named their business "Camel Towing" because of what it sounded like......but I think they took it a little too far with these business cards, making it so obvious why they named their company what they did. People will probably get the visual just from hearing the name, I could really have done without the up-close picture of a chic's crotch. So St. Louis....can you do me a favor? Clean it up a little, or don't allow kids at your parade. If parents aren't going to have enough sense not to bring their kids there...someone should.


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