Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Dear Bike Stealer:


It has been about a month and half now since you stole my bike, but I am still soooo freaking pissed about it. I guess I was naive to think that if I left my bike locked up outside my apt. for just one night it would be okay. You see bike stealer, the bike room in my building is down a set of windy stairs, and then the bike rack requires me to lift my bike up and place the wheel in the rack. I am a weakling, I do not have the strength to carry my bike downstairs and lift it onto a rack everyday. So I left it outside thinking my lock was thick enough and my bike was too old lady looking for anyone to steal...I guess I was wrong. I heard you outside my window in the middle of the night, but I just thought someone was getting their bike off the rack next to mine. But no, it was actually you, stealing my precious bike. You are actually lucky bike stealer, had I gotten out of bed to see what all the noise was about I would have threw my Rachel Ray knife out the window at you. The thing I don't get is why did you pick my bike? I hope you immediately sold it, because as I am assuming you are a thug or a homeless person....you would look like a complete fool on an old lady bike. Actually, I hope you didn't sell it, because if I ever see someone riding my bike I plan on tackling that person and taking it back. So Mr. Bike Stealer here is an idea, how about you give me my bike back to save us both from getting injured when I try to take my bike back. You can even just lock it right back up to the same bike rack you stole it from, since you also took my lock too. And here's some advice, next time you steal someone's bike can you leave the lock? You gave me false hope that maybe I had just forgotten where I had put my bike, if you had left the cut lock at least I wouldn't have thought I was going crazy, and I would have known what happened. In case you steal a lot of bikes (which I am sure you do) I have attached a picture so you can return the right one.


Thanks,
Megan

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Dear Crazy Landlady:

Friday I was sitting in the lobby again, "my" Internet was not working so I needed to use the free Internet down there. A guy came in and asked if he could go up to his friend's apt. The door lady told him that the friend did not answer the phone (this guy must have already called looking for him), so the guy asked if she could call again. Door lady called the friends apt, and there was no answer. Then the guy said he was really concerned about the friend, they work together and he did not show up for work that day, and no one had heard from him. So door lady goes and knocks on his door, there is no answer. So when door lady comes back down she tells this guy that she has to go talk to her manager. Then you, crazy landlady, and your husband (still not sure why he's always there) come out and immediately are hostile to this poor guy. You tell him that you have a policy in this building that if a tenant does not answer the phone you are not going to be breaking down the door. Then you tell him he is trespassing and he needs to leave. The guy looked very taken a back and was confused because he was clearly just concerned about his friend, and not looking for trouble. You again repeat that he is trespassing and keep pointing at the door. The guy asks what is he suppose to do if he hasn't heard from his friend in a few days, and that if this happens he will just call the police since you are being uncooperative. You tell him you would be glad to call the police for him when the time comes. BROAD, you are nuts! After the guy left you start yelling at the poor door lady telling her she needs to be stern with this people and that he was not looking for a friend or concerned about this tenant, he was looking for CRACK. Seriously????? The guy looked completely normal, was in nice jeans and a lacoste polo, he was for sure not a crack head. He also seemed really sincere and actually concerned about his friend, and I think you are just nuts! Dear crazy landlady, if ever I am not answering my phone and I am not answering my door....please by all means KNOCK DOWN THE DOOR! This guy could be dead in his apartment, and you don't care. If I ever die in my apartment or go missing, the people who come looking for me are not looking for CRACK, so please let them up.

Thanks,
Megan