Saturday, April 23, 2011

Dear Harrah's Joliet Patrons:

Now, I think I have seen some rather interesting things and encountered some rather interesting people in Chicago, but really nothing can top my trip to Joliet yesterday. I have never seen a crowd quite like you guys. I will start with the disgusting old man who sat down at the blackjack table I was at. Please cut your hair. It is in matted clumps all the way past your butt, it kind of looks like one big dread lock. From the looks and the smell of you I'd say your hair has not been washed or brushed in at least 25 years, and I am not exaggerating. And if your not going to cut or wash your hair can you limit your gambling to the machines and stay away from the tables, that way no one will have to be in such a close proximity to you. Next, to the lady in orange on the dance floor, you had on quite the lovely ensemble of an orange t-shirt tucked in to your too tight jeans so your stomach was hanging out real nicely, along with a lovely orange belt and orange socks to match. Ohh I almost forgot the orange flower you had pinned to your weave. You my friend, are quite possibly the most disgusting person I have ever seen.  You were doing some real nasty dance moves, and I'm pretty sure you whipped at least 5 people in the face with your weave. If your not going to stay off the dance floor, can you trim that weave?
There was a bit of a common theme among the rest of the people there last night, missing teeth and awful BO. I'll only specifically mention one more of you, but to the rest of you....before going to a crowded place where you are going to be dancing around like a complete idiot, please put on this thing called deodorant. Now, to you large black lady, you not only need deodorant, you need to do this thing called showering. You were sitting at a table not to far from my own....and the stank coming from you was unbearable. Everyone at my table actually had to stand on the one side of the table because we needed to be as far away from your stench as possible. You made the entire area smell like feet and fish. GROSS. And one more thing, can you please refrain from sucking chicken wings clean while you are sitting near me? At one point I look over at you, to give you one of the many dirty looks I gave you throughout the night, and I see you pull a ziplock baggy out of your pocket. You then proceed to pull out chicken wings and eat every possible piece of meat off them, sucking the bone clean. I actually threw up in my mouth a little bit when I saw this. There were so many awful thoughts running threw my head as I saw you doing this, how long had those chicken wings been sitting in your pocket? Did you pick them out of a garbage can? How old were they? Were they rotten and adding to your stench? Next time you leave whatever dumpster you live in, can you shower and eat before you go out in public?