Sunday, October 25, 2009

Dear StreetWise Man:

So on Friday I woke up late for class so I kept the same ratty hoodie I had slept in on, and my hair was a complete mess, in a nasty ponytail with my bang doing this gross "I haven't been straightened" wavy thing. It was also raining that day and I did not have an umbrella. Needless to say I looked like crap. I had an errand to run at the Daley Center, so as I'm walking down Randolph I walk past you. You were selling StreetWise, and as I walk past you, you say "hey pretty, how you doing today." Now StreetWise man you are not fooling anyone when you give out these compliments. I know you are usually the kind of person that would hit on me, but come on dude...I was looking anything but pretty that day. More than likely a compliment would not help you get me to give you money, but you'd have a much better chance if I thought you were sincere. Calling me pretty actually made me even less inclined to give you money because I knew you were clearly lying. So in the future StreetWise man, just ask for money instead of pissing me off more by giving me some cheesy fake compliment.


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