Dear Bird:

I'm walking down State Street today, doing a little shopping, when all of the sudden I feel something hit my nose. I assume its water from a window washer or something, that's generally what it ends up being when I feel something drop on me. So I go to wipe the "water" off my nose when I inhale this horrendous smell. I look down at my hand and I see brown stuff all over it. I look over to my friend and ask her if I have anything on my face, she can barely get the words out but tells me she thinks there is bird shit on my face. I immediately start freaking out in the middle of the crosswalk, a mix of yelling and laughing hysterically. Everyone else walking down state street must have thought I was insane. But come on, how would you react if something crapped on your face? So Mr. Bird, is there anyway you can land before you crap in the future? I mean isn't that a little distracting trying to fly and go to the bathroom at the same time? Do all us people a favor and start crapping on the ground, I personally would rather walk in bird shit than have it on my face.

Thanks,
Megan