Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Dear Sweaty Fat Man on the Metra:

It's been awhile since I have written to anyone, but since moving back to the suburbs I haven't seen much that has been worthy of my complaints. But today I had the opportunity to see one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen on public transportation. I get onto the back car of the train this morning so I don't have to sit next to anyone, or at least get a window spot. You Sweaty Fat Man must have had the same idea. It was obviously really important that you get a window spot, because if you didn't you would have no where to SUCTION CUP YOUR FAN. That's right, you had a fan suction cupped to the window of the train. I would think this was ridiculous even during the summer, but then it might be a little more forgivable. Sometimes the air conditioning doesn't work on all the train cars, and it gets pretty hot in there. But it was about 50 degrees out when I got on the train this morning. Even though you were a rather large man, I still do not understand how you could be so hot that you needed a portable fan in this kind of weather. It would be one thing if you walked to the train or something and worked up a sweat, but even then it would only be necessary to fan yourself for a little bit. After sitting for awhile you shouldn't be so hot anymore. Even if I was this hot I would be too embarrassed to suction cup a fan to the window. I wonder where one even gets a suction cup fan. It's a true sign of laziness that you can't even hold a portable fan to cool yourself off. You sir are ridiculous.


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