Dear Mean Old Man in the Caddy:

I was walking home from the bus today when I came to an intersection with a 4-way stop. I stopped and let one car go, and then proceeded to walk across the street. As I got to about the middle of the intersection, I see you begin to turn out of the corner of my eye. You then point and beep at me like I am doing something wrong. Listen Old man, I am a pedestrian; I have the right of way. And it's not like I darted out in front of your car or anything. I was in the crosswalk long before you began to turn. Maybe you couldn’t see me because you are old, but that does not give you an excuse to beep and point at me...causing me to fall in the middle of the street. I am surprised you didn't drive right over me, considering how annoyed you are that I had the nerve to try and cross the street that you were trying to turn on. After I recovered from my embarrassing fall I got up and flipped you the bird, and just for good measure yelled F' you as well. Not like you could hear me, your windows were up and you are old. Now after I did this I realized how absolutely ridiculous I looked and how crazy people must have thought I was. If I was witnessing myself, I probably would have blogged about it, "Dear Crazy Bitch Who Flipped Off that Poor Old Man." But the more I thought about it, the more I realized you did need to be flipped off. I did nothing wrong. You, with your impatience and beeping and pointing caused me to fall in the middle of the street, reinjure my elbow (from my previous fall down the stairs), and caused me to act like a crazy person. That's right I am blaming you for my yelling and bird flipping. How was I supposed to act? Not only did you nearly run me over, I was humiliated in front of all the people that were on the street. For someone who falls as much as me I shouldn't really be embarrassed about my falls anymore....but this one was bad. And it was all your fault....if you had just waited 5 more seconds for me to cross the street, none of this would have happened. So Old Man, I think it’s about time you turn in your keys. I personally don't think any old people should be driving, and you are a clear example of why. You either cannot see anymore and that's why you didn't notice me crossing the street until I was practically in front of you, or you are one of those old people who thinks they have the "right of way" just because you are old. Please do all other pedestrians a favor and STOP DRIVING!

Thanks,
Megan

Dear Crazy B in the Laundry Room:

Today I went down to the lobby to throw out some garbage and then check my e-mail. I had a garbage bag, a box from my newly purchased humidifier, and my computer in hand, when I slipped and fell down about 5 stairs. I landed on my butt and my elbows in an attempt to save my computer. The thanks I got from my computer was it slamming into my face as I hit the ground. I sat on the ground for about 5 min yelling in pain, and did the rude doorman get up to help me? NO! I know he had to hear me yelling in pain as I hit the ground, you'd think he'd be a little more concerned? But anyways, after I walked out of the stairwell I put my computer down, and went to throw out my garbage, and YOU, B from the laundry room, were standing in the doorway that leads to the laundry room and the dumpsters. You barely let me get through the door....I throw my garbage out, and as I walk back through the doorway you ask me rudely with a lot of tude if I have any laundry in the dryers...I say no and keep walking. I then see a dorky little dude go into the laundry room...and immediately hear you yelling at the top of your lungs at this poor kid. Apparently dorky boy took your clothes out of the dryer and left them on the table. You screamed at this poor guy for probably about 10 min, why he stood there and put up with your screaming is beyond me...the second your crazy ass started yelling at me I would have walked out of the laundry room. Listen B, I'm guessing your clothes were sitting in that dryer for a very long time before you walked your dumb ass down to the laundry room to check on your clothes. It is you own fault...I'm guessing when you put your clothes in the dryer you noticed that a lot of the washing machines and dryers were in use. So you should have realized that you needed to get your clothes right when you were done. As you were yelling at this poor guy I heard you screaming about how there are bedbugs in this building and bla bla bla. Um, lady if you were sooo worried about the "bedbugs" in this building, you shouldn't be doing your laundry here. This poor dude taking your clothes out of the dryer did not give you bedbugs. You were just looking for a reason to scream more. It is not that big of a deal that he took your clothes out of the dryer, so you decided to be a bitch and scream about bedbugs. What kind of crazy person screams at someone they don't know, when it's their own fault for leaving their clothes in the dryer for sooo long? Again, like when I fell, the door man didn't step in. He should have gotten up and told you to shut the f' up. Apparently the old man is useless....makes me feel rather safe here. But regardless of what the doorman did or didn't do....you should have not been acting like such a B, go to a laundry mat and wait there for your clothes to dry if you don't want them taken out of the dryer. There is like 10 dryers in that laundry room for a building that has 100s of people living in it. You can't expect to be able to leave your clothes in the dryer forever and not think someone else might take them out. So B in the laundry room, just know that if I ever need to take your clothes out of the dryer I will....and I won't put up with your shit like little dorky dude did.

Thanks,

Megan