Dear Crazy Dog People:

Since I have moved to the city I have noticed how obsessed with dogs people around here are. Like there is all these Pet Accessory stores all over the place, that don't sell like dog food and normal pet supplies. They sell like dog clothes and designer collars and leashes, and fancy dog biscuits that cost more than what I'd spend on food for myself. There's even a "dog boutique" at the Macy's on State St., it's rather ridiculous. But what I saw on Friday at your condo really wins the prize for craziest dog owner. I stopped at my cousin's after some Halloween costume shopping, and across the hall from them I see all your shoes out by your front door...and then I saw these 4 things that look like tiny little boxing gloves. So I ask my cousin what they are and she says DOG SHOES. You have to be F"ING kidding me. You have shoes for your dog???? This is absolutely insane. Dogs do not needs shoes, as they do not have human feet...they have paws. Paws which dogs have been walking on outside for centuries and have been completely fine with. I actually think your dog probably hates these stupid little boots. Because 1. he has to walk around looking completely ridiculous 2. they are probably annoying to walk in 3. it probably takes longer for him to be able to piss since before you go outside you need to put his "shoes" on him. I actually don't think people like you should be able to have animals, because this shows you are absolutely crazy. Dear Crazy Dog People stop torturing your dog, throw those dumb shoes out.

Thanks,
Megan